File Under Cage the Rage
The Quotable Antidote
If the definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results, then the definition of Hubris is doing the same thing over and over again thinking that nothing will ever change.
Don't become an anachronism by linking your emotional ties to the past to your hopes for the future.
Song of the Day
In honor of recognizing when things are changing, the song of the day is Modest Mouse's 'Missed the Boat'.
"...looking for the future, we were begging for the past..."
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Monday, September 12, 2011
The Flooded Basement
File under Cage the Rage
It’s been a rough week and a half for us. So much so that at one low point we commented that this was the worst week of our married lives. There was one “disaster” after another. We recently moved into a new house, but still haven’t sold our current home so that compounded things. As Hurricane Irene rolled through we discovered we had a leak in our basement. There already being a lot of things that need to be upgraded in this ‘new-to-us' old house, this was extremely frustrating. Waking up every few hours to shop-vac up water left our nerves on edge. Just as we thought we had things under control and the place cleaned up from Irene, Lee decided to pay a visit. But as the rains began, our water heater decided not to be left out of the fray and it rusted out. It leaked water into our recently cleaned up basement over Labor Day weekend, ensuring we would live up to the name of the holiday. Try finding a plumber over Labor Day following a hurricane, before another tropical system. So we lived without hot water for 5 days. Showering at others’ houses or braving the cold when we didn’t have the energy to drive anywhere.
And then Lee dumped on us. As we proactively managed the flooding in our new house, we discovered our sump pump went out in our old house. We worked to exchange a sump pump while under 3 inches of water. After an all-day affair we went back home with the minor victory of a working pump and a “dry” basement. But the rains continued and we got home only to find that Lee found new and innovative ways to find our basement.
It was a miserable ten days. We couldn’t catch a break, and we couldn’t make any progress on the things we had planned to do. But the truth is that our reaction to those events, and calling it the ‘worst week ever’ couldn’t have been more wrong.
It wasn’t until one trip back from checking on the house with the broken sump pump, that things were finally put in perspective. My wife and I both passed by a house in our neighborhood where a tree was knocked down during Irene. It destroyed the back of the house so badly the house was condemned. That family lost their home. We have no idea where they went, or how they were doing, but one thing we did know was that a few inches of water in our basement was not such a big deal.
So what was it in our self-sympathizing not five minutes earlier that led us to such ridiculous superlatives as “the worst week ever,” and honestly believing it? A frustration of not getting what we want? A feeling of “why me” victimization? A weird need to be more “affected” than others are? Well it’s probably all of those things, but most importantly, those exclamations are a result of a temporary lack of perspective - an inability to see the forest from the trees.
Perspective is an equalizer. It puts everything on an even level. You can compare apples to apples.
But perspective doesn’t just come from being exposed to those worse off than you. It’s not gained by saying “Wow, sucks for that guy” just to make yourself feel better. Sometimes it comes with age and experience. In fact, isn’t wisdom a reflection of perspective?
However perspective can also be manufactured through the simple act of asking yourself two questions:
- what is the true impact of this event?
- is my reaction appropriate to that impact?
We had flooded basements. We spent money on repairs. I had to take a day off of work. We lost a productive weekend. I couldn’t sit on the couch and watch all the football games I wanted.
Those were the true impacts, and yet my reaction was if a tree fell on my house. And that made things worse. That taxed our emotions. And that got us more frustrated.
Not that things aren’t hard, or frustrating, or maddening sometimes, because they are. But the true impact of bad things that happen are compounded when we exaggerate the effects.
As we sat this past weekend on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, watching the coverage, remembering where we were that day, and thinking of those families who lost loved ones, I’m reminded of perspective. I’m reminded of sacrifice. And I’m reminded what is really worth being emotionally affected by.
It’s not some water in the basement.
Song of the Day
In honor of the 2,976 people who are a reminder of perspective, the song of the day is ‘Taps’.
It’s been a rough week and a half for us. So much so that at one low point we commented that this was the worst week of our married lives. There was one “disaster” after another. We recently moved into a new house, but still haven’t sold our current home so that compounded things. As Hurricane Irene rolled through we discovered we had a leak in our basement. There already being a lot of things that need to be upgraded in this ‘new-to-us' old house, this was extremely frustrating. Waking up every few hours to shop-vac up water left our nerves on edge. Just as we thought we had things under control and the place cleaned up from Irene, Lee decided to pay a visit. But as the rains began, our water heater decided not to be left out of the fray and it rusted out. It leaked water into our recently cleaned up basement over Labor Day weekend, ensuring we would live up to the name of the holiday. Try finding a plumber over Labor Day following a hurricane, before another tropical system. So we lived without hot water for 5 days. Showering at others’ houses or braving the cold when we didn’t have the energy to drive anywhere.
And then Lee dumped on us. As we proactively managed the flooding in our new house, we discovered our sump pump went out in our old house. We worked to exchange a sump pump while under 3 inches of water. After an all-day affair we went back home with the minor victory of a working pump and a “dry” basement. But the rains continued and we got home only to find that Lee found new and innovative ways to find our basement.
It was a miserable ten days. We couldn’t catch a break, and we couldn’t make any progress on the things we had planned to do. But the truth is that our reaction to those events, and calling it the ‘worst week ever’ couldn’t have been more wrong.
It wasn’t until one trip back from checking on the house with the broken sump pump, that things were finally put in perspective. My wife and I both passed by a house in our neighborhood where a tree was knocked down during Irene. It destroyed the back of the house so badly the house was condemned. That family lost their home. We have no idea where they went, or how they were doing, but one thing we did know was that a few inches of water in our basement was not such a big deal.
So what was it in our self-sympathizing not five minutes earlier that led us to such ridiculous superlatives as “the worst week ever,” and honestly believing it? A frustration of not getting what we want? A feeling of “why me” victimization? A weird need to be more “affected” than others are? Well it’s probably all of those things, but most importantly, those exclamations are a result of a temporary lack of perspective - an inability to see the forest from the trees.
Perspective is an equalizer. It puts everything on an even level. You can compare apples to apples.
But perspective doesn’t just come from being exposed to those worse off than you. It’s not gained by saying “Wow, sucks for that guy” just to make yourself feel better. Sometimes it comes with age and experience. In fact, isn’t wisdom a reflection of perspective?
However perspective can also be manufactured through the simple act of asking yourself two questions:
- what is the true impact of this event?
- is my reaction appropriate to that impact?
We had flooded basements. We spent money on repairs. I had to take a day off of work. We lost a productive weekend. I couldn’t sit on the couch and watch all the football games I wanted.
Those were the true impacts, and yet my reaction was if a tree fell on my house. And that made things worse. That taxed our emotions. And that got us more frustrated.
Not that things aren’t hard, or frustrating, or maddening sometimes, because they are. But the true impact of bad things that happen are compounded when we exaggerate the effects.
As we sat this past weekend on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, watching the coverage, remembering where we were that day, and thinking of those families who lost loved ones, I’m reminded of perspective. I’m reminded of sacrifice. And I’m reminded what is really worth being emotionally affected by.
It’s not some water in the basement.
Song of the Day
In honor of the 2,976 people who are a reminder of perspective, the song of the day is ‘Taps’.
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