The Long, Dark Winter

File under Set the Bar Low (and Barely Exceed the Bar)

After this “Snowtober” I’m a little worried about the rest of the fall and this winter, and it has to do with expectations. See I’m a Texas boy and even though I haven’t lived there in a looong time, Texas weather is still engrained in my soul. I still stare in wonder at the first snowfall, yet despise the prolonged winter in late February and March here in Maryland. It’s bad enough that following the holidays there are still 2+ months of miserable cold weather. I’m ok up through the holidays, I love it. But once the calendar turns, my enthusiasm wanes. I tend to refer to January and February as the Dark Ages. It’s all I can do to get through those 2 months. Unfortunately, with the first snow event here in October, my internal clock is all out of whack now. I’ll be expecting the spring to start in January, and when it doesn’t it’ll make those months even more miserable than before.


It’s a ridiculous complaint but we often have no control over that feeling. It has to do with our expectations. Every Fall I rush to put on sweatshirts and long pants when the temperature gets down to 60 degrees, but in the spring we’re strolling around in t-shirts and shorts when it finally gets up to 60 degrees. Why the difference? We’ve become accustomed to the commonplace and are thrilled when we experience something new, or even just anticipate a change. We’re in a constant struggle for ‘New’ in our lives. Recognize when that need for 'newness' is affecting your happiness.

For a more optimistic outlook on our recent Snowtober, click here.

Song of the Day

I think I’m on a new wave/post-punk kick this week. In high school I bought a CD by the band Modern English, most known for the song “I Melt with You.” A song made famous as my sister and brother-in-law’s wedding song (and I guess that Burger King commercial). But it was this song on the album that I grew to like the most, and it is definitely appropriate following our recent Nor’easter. In honor of having 4-wheel drive on snowy, hilly streets, the song of the day is “After the Snow” by Modern English.

The Weekly Theory 10.28.2011

File under Useless Information

I'm pretty sure we've all had an awful song stuck in our head that we just can't stop singing or humming. whether it's Ace of Base's "The Sign", Starships' "We Built this City", or Aqua's "Barbie Girl".  In any case, i think i have a cure.

I Have a Theory...

...that singing Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega will get rid of any annoying song in your head.  Guaranteed.

In addition to that, it won't get stuck in your head itself.  It's a weird phenomenon, but it absolutely works.  Try it the next time you can't get the theme song to The Big Bang Theory out of your head.

Song of the Day
Interestingly enough the Tom's Diner in the song is Tom's Restaurant in New York City that was later immortalized as the go-to diner in Seinfeld, but called Monk's.  Also, the most popular version of the song is actually an unauthorized remix by producers calling themselves DNA who added a Soul II Soul beat to Vega's original a capella version.  In honor of Cliff Claven and little known facts, the song of the day is Suzanne Vega's "Tom's Diner" as remixed by DNA featuring Soul II Soul.

The Puppy Monster

File under Useless Information

A friend recently posted a video of a dog caught red-handed getting into the trash here, and it reminded me of our own little monster about 8 years ago.

Seriously, if he wasn't cute...

My tears of frustration with that dog at that time have easily become tears of joy and love.  Time changes everything.

Song of the Day

This picture of our dog Dignan was taken in my first house in Canton in Baltimore.  It was a great house and a great time in my life.  I met my wife while i lived there.  I also reconnected with my Dad.  And i acquired this little ball of fur and bark.  When i think of that house I think of this song which was so new to my ears and which i played over and over again.  In honor of Dignan and Canton the song of the day is Frontier Psychiatrist by The Avalanches.

The Infomercial

File under Avoid the Machine

I caught a few minutes of an infomercial last weekend for the Ab Rocket. What hit me wasn’t how ridiculous the infomercial was, but rather the fact that they work. Not the Ab Rocket, but rather the infomercial itself. $150 Billion annual infomercial revenue proves it.

The great thing is that the infomercial strategy is pretty much the same from commercial to commercial. Here’s a deconstruction of the Ab Rocket infomercial that could be applied to any television advertisement. Think of it as shot-instructions to a first time director on how to make an infomercial:

1. Examples of people “like the consumer” who have an issue:
Images should show average-to-below average people and highlight their physical imperfections or inability to perform basic tasks.

2. People exhibiting the ideal state:
These images imply the outcome you will achieve should you buy this product. They are most often beautiful, healthy, strong, fit people with great smiles and clear skin. Consumer is meant to think these people have achieved these qualities as a result of using the product. (Do not overdo as this will lead to alienation in the consumer)

3. Before and after images of people just like the consumer
Images are meant to drive home the point that success is achievable by people just like the target audience, however broad that may be. Find 5-10 extreme examples of improvement and highlight repeatedly. Use stylist and makeup artist support for “after” images. Be sure to add a small disclaimer that results are not typical and may vary. Genuine testimonials from these extreme cases are ideal.

4. Demonstration of qualities that make using the product enjoyable and easy
Show a mix of average and above average individuals using product easily and happily. Smile, Smile, Smile. Intersperse quick images of use with ideal state images to imply short use leading to extraordinary results. Reduce perception of individual effort by highlighting how little time is needed.

5. Explanation of alternatives being more expensive
Highlight comparative cost of this product with alternatives. Creatively identify how not using this product is more expensive. Show images of alternative solutions being unpleasant. No smiling.

6. Trusted expert avowing of effectiveness of product
This may be a celebrity or an expert in the respective field. Testimonial should drive home that the product is safe, effective, and used by the expert. Consumer should walk away with feeling that someone who is smarter or more successful than them is using it, so then they should too.

7. Ordering information
Make ordering easy via multiple vehicles (i.e. phone, internet). Break total cost into multiple payments to reduce the understanding of the total cost. Add “if you order now” discounts to accelerate initial orders.

8. Repeat


The formula is so simple, yet they are so ridiculous. I mean to the point of absurdity, yet we’ve all felt compelled to buy at one time or another. I’ll talk about why later, and more importantly why they rarely help you achieve your goals.  The real danger is succumbing to these ploys in normal everyday situations without even knowing you’re being marketed to.

Song of the Day
I spend a considerable amount of time each week on the DC and Baltimore beltways and have a seen some interesting things. The other day I saw a cool, old airstream trailer on the road and it made me think of this song. Anything to take my mind off of the monotony.
In honor of National Capital Region traffic and a desire to pack up and escape, the song of the day is Airstream Driver by Gomez.

The Weekly Theory 10.21.2011

File under Useless Information

It's been so long I should probably start calling this the Monthly Theory...

So the other day I saw an ad for the Ellen Degeneres show in which Liza Minelli would be an upcoming guest.  I immediately realized a theory.

I Have a Theory...

...that at any given time everyone has a celebrity in mind who they think already died, but didn't; and likewise have a celebrity in mind that they had no idea already died.

Well done Liza.  At least Liz Taylor is still alive too.

Song of the Day
In honor of the beginning of fall, falling leaves, and the change of a season, the song of the day is the White Stripes' 'Dead Leaves and Dirty Ground'.

The Quotable Antidote 9.22.2011

File Under Cage the Rage

The Quotable Antidote
If the definition of Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results, then the definition of Hubris is doing the same thing over and over again thinking that nothing will ever change.


Don't become an anachronism by linking your emotional ties to the past to your hopes for the future.


Song of the Day
In honor of recognizing when things are changing, the song of the day is Modest Mouse's 'Missed the Boat'.

"...looking for the future, we were begging for the past..."

The Flooded Basement

File under Cage the Rage

It’s been a rough week and a half for us. So much so that at one low point we commented that this was the worst week of our married lives. There was one “disaster” after another. We recently moved into a new house, but still haven’t sold our current home so that compounded things. As Hurricane Irene rolled through we discovered we had a leak in our basement. There already being a lot of things that need to be upgraded in this ‘new-to-us' old house, this was extremely frustrating. Waking up every few hours to shop-vac up water left our nerves on edge. Just as we thought we had things under control and the place cleaned up from Irene, Lee decided to pay a visit. But as the rains began, our water heater decided not to be left out of the fray and it rusted out. It leaked water into our recently cleaned up basement over Labor Day weekend, ensuring we would live up to the name of the holiday. Try finding a plumber over Labor Day following a hurricane, before another tropical system. So we lived without hot water for 5 days. Showering at others’ houses or braving the cold when we didn’t have the energy to drive anywhere.


And then Lee dumped on us. As we proactively managed the flooding in our new house, we discovered our sump pump went out in our old house. We worked to exchange a sump pump while under 3 inches of water. After an all-day affair we went back home with the minor victory of a working pump and a “dry” basement. But the rains continued and we got home only to find that Lee found new and innovative ways to find our basement.

It was a miserable ten days. We couldn’t catch a break, and we couldn’t make any progress on the things we had planned to do. But the truth is that our reaction to those events, and calling it the ‘worst week ever’ couldn’t have been more wrong.

It wasn’t until one trip back from checking on the house with the broken sump pump, that things were finally put in perspective. My wife and I both passed by a house in our neighborhood where a tree was knocked down during Irene. It destroyed the back of the house so badly the house was condemned. That family lost their home. We have no idea where they went, or how they were doing, but one thing we did know was that a few inches of water in our basement was not such a big deal.

So what was it in our self-sympathizing not five minutes earlier that led us to such ridiculous superlatives as “the worst week ever,” and honestly believing it? A frustration of not getting what we want? A feeling of “why me” victimization? A weird need to be more “affected” than others are? Well it’s probably all of those things, but most importantly, those exclamations are a result of a temporary lack of perspective - an inability to see the forest from the trees.

Perspective is an equalizer. It puts everything on an even level. You can compare apples to apples.
But perspective doesn’t just come from being exposed to those worse off than you. It’s not gained by saying “Wow, sucks for that guy” just to make yourself feel better. Sometimes it comes with age and experience. In fact, isn’t wisdom a reflection of perspective?


However perspective can also be manufactured through the simple act of asking yourself two questions:

- what is the true impact of this event?
- is my reaction appropriate to that impact?

We had flooded basements. We spent money on repairs. I had to take a day off of work. We lost a productive weekend. I couldn’t sit on the couch and watch all the football games I wanted.

Those were the true impacts, and yet my reaction was if a tree fell on my house. And that made things worse. That taxed our emotions. And that got us more frustrated.

Not that things aren’t hard, or frustrating, or maddening sometimes, because they are. But the true impact of bad things that happen are compounded when we exaggerate the effects.

As we sat this past weekend on the 10th anniversary of 9/11, watching the coverage, remembering where we were that day, and thinking of those families who lost loved ones, I’m reminded of perspective. I’m reminded of sacrifice. And I’m reminded what is really worth being emotionally affected by.

It’s not some water in the basement.

Song of the Day
In honor of the 2,976 people who are a reminder of perspective, the song of the day is ‘Taps’.

The Weekly Theory 8.27.2011

File under Useless Information

As we sit here on a Hurricane weekend, prepping the house, and flipping channels trying to avoid hurricane coverage, i'm reminded of a weekly theory.

I Have a Theory...

...that everyone has a movie that is not your favorite movie, but whenever it comes on TV you have to stop and watch it. everytime.

no matter what time it comes on, no matter what else you are doing, no matter if you saw it yesterday.

Damn you, Shawshank!!

Song of the Day
The derivative of this weekly theory is called the Seinfeld Corollary.  In one episode, Elaine's then-boyfriend Brett told her to stop talking every time the song 'Desperado' came on the radio so he could listen.  The corollary is that everyone has their own 'Desperado'.

In honor of my 'Desperado', the song of the day is Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You". 


What's your movie?

The Harvard Education

File under Get a Smaller Plate

I really can’t believe it is mid-August already. This year, and especially this summer have flown by. The days are getting shorter and Labor Day fast approaches, bringing with it the start, and the pressures of the new school year. The other day I was talking to a co-worker who has a son about to enter 8th grade. He was frustrated about the fact that this summer his son was already participating in college preparatory activities. He was taking standardized tests, writing essays, and studying, all on his own time but at the direction of the schools.


He’s 12.

Now I’m not sure how or when the pressures of college entry migrated into Junior High but I can assure you that at 12 I was busy hanging out at the pool or collecting baseball cards. I understand that admissions are more competitive now and there is increased focus and pressure on students to fight for admission to ‘quality’ schools. But I have always felt the perceived ‘quality’ of the college is much less important than many other factors in a person’s future success.

One fact that reinforces this comes from the Bloomberg Business Report. In 2010 they listed the top ten CEO alma maters according to the schools with the most current CEOs as graduates. Here’s the list:

10. Purdue University
9. Indiana University
8. Princeton
7. Dartmouth College
6. University of Wisconsin
5. University of Texas
4. University of Missouri
3. Harvard College
2. School of Hard Knocks
1. University of California

Do you see it? There are two things that jump out to me. First, only 3 out of 10 are Ivy League, and second, 50% are state schools! (Not to mention that a full 10% never graduated college.)

Now clearly not everyone is striving to be a CEO, but this list shows that success is not necessarily strongly linked to the school you may go to. Which in itself is not shocking, yet we now have students worrying as early as 12 years old whether they will get into a good school. This survey shows that a quality, in-state education is just as likely to produce success than an Ivy League or more competitive school. Yet the effort to achieve entry to the respective schools is wildly disparate.

To all the Junior and High Schoolers out there, I offer…

The Daily Antidote
Focus on long-term self-education instead of short-term college preparatory goals. Success will follow.


The Song of the Day
In honor of a great band, the song of the day is Airborne Toxic Event's "All I ever wanted".

The MTV

File under Cage the Rage

Thirty years ago this week a fledgling television network debuted on the relatively new ‘cable’ television. At 12:01 a.m. on August 1st, 1981, as the channel went live, the world heard, “Ladies and Gentlemen, Rock and Roll.”

And MTV was born.

Source

Ok, when I say ‘the world’, I actually mean less than a million viewers in New Jersey, and that’s it. MTV began with less than auspicious viewership, but within a couple of years tens of millions of kids, including me, were saying to their parents “I want my MTV.”

Now certainly MTV had a big impact on society, whether good or bad (definitely a little of both). But that’s not what I find interesting. What I do find interesting is our reaction to the evolution of MTV over time and how that reaction is similar to other evolutions in our lives and work.

In those initial years MTV aired music videos, and served as a vehicle for this new art form, launching new stars like Madonna and Michael Jackson (sans the other 4 (good move by the way)). But somewhere in the mid to late 80’s the brass at the top of the network sensed a paradigm shift. They were no longer the window on the pop music scene, they were one of the drivers. They achieved any marketer’s dream – they became an ‘idea’ instead of just a product. With this realization MTV branched into new unchartered territories.

For those that grew up with the music videos, there was a slow but noticeable move away from the medium and into original programming. And for the Gen Xers who were there from the beginning, this was disturbing. This wasn’t their MTV anymore, it was some bastardized version, epitomized by my sister’s comment somewhere around 1994, “Remember when MTV actually played music?!” By that point there was Beavis and Butt-Head, MTV News, the game show Remote Control, and the coup-de-gras: The Real World. NOBODY realized just what that show would do to mass entertainment. It ushered in the death of the traditional sitcom and resulted in me caring about C-List celebrities’ ability to Tango, all in one fell swoop.

The transition did not go over well for many. We belly-ached about the awful programming and what MTV had ‘devolved’ into. As if the previous state of music video after music video, ad nauseum, was socially redeemable. If you look at the Millennials to follow us, they only knew what MTV had become. That was their reality and they owned it. As MTV continues to evolve they will long for the good old days when the network actually aired reality shows. Likewise the baby boomers before us dismissed the entire concept of the station because it didn’t fit their experiences.

That is a microcosm of what happens to us daily in work and our lives. Our reality changes and we no longer ‘own’ it. We long for the ways things used to be. And most destructively we label what’s new as ‘bad’. Change is not inherently good or bad. Change is change. Change is different. But most of all, change is inevitable. And to be emotionally tied to the previous state, to say that ‘then’ was ‘good’ and ‘now’ is ‘bad’ is wasteful, demoralizing to others around you, and a taxation on your emotional effort.

This isn’t a prompting to turn lemons into lemonade, or for you to go read “Who Moved My Cheese”, but it is a caution to not dismiss an idea, or a process, or The Jersey Shore, just because they’re different.

Because different does not equal bad.

Actually, you can dismiss The Jersey Shore.

Song of the Day
In honor of the first video ever played on MTV, the song of the day is The Buggles' "Video Killed the Radio Star".