Halloween is a weird, weird holiday. Maybe it’s weird to even call it a holiday. I’m not talking about it being weird because kids ask strangers for candy, or that many people have a strange, morbid fascination with the grotesque. It’s weird because for some reason, Halloween gives people a license to do normally borderline unacceptable things, more so than any other day. Don’t believe me? Let me tell you about my Halloween.
License #1: Humiliating your kids.
It began at Starbucks that morning where I was doing work. All of a sudden the Day Care in the same building brought about 15 costumed children in to the coffee shop to trick or treat, followed by equally as many parents. Innocent enough, but there were two things I noticed. First of all, these kids weren’t 6 or 7 year olds. They were maybe 2, but no more. Not a single one of these toddlers had any idea what was going on. The bewildered looks on their faces were compounded by the fact that they had no association or understanding of the costumes their parents dressed them in. Try explaining to a 20 month old who Thor is. The second thing was that they were all physically tethered together in one long rope/harness contraption so as not to leave a man behind. It was as if a long chain gang of miniature criminals were dressed in humiliating costumes and paraded through the streets to be laughed at by the morning Starbucks crowd. And to add insult to injury, they were hounded by photo snapping paparazzi parents. This was clearly one step up from putting a costume on your dog.
License #2: Going out in clothes you would be embarrassed to wear any other day.
A co-worker and I went to Panera for lunch and I would have thought we walked in to Hooter’s based on what the girls taking your order were wearing. I think there has to be a manual somewhere that has costume instructions for both men and women:
Women:
Step 1: find a profession with a uniform
Step 2: make that uniform slutty
Men: Wear a costume that could be construed as sexual harassment in at least 27 states
License #3: Befriending complete strangers
When meeting up with my co-worker at his house, his 7 year old daughter was there. She was shy and untalkative. Untalkative until I asked her what she was going as for Halloween. As if a tornado swept us up into “best friend land”, she proceeded to tell me about, and then show me, her Dorothy costume. Barriers be gone. We were new BFFs. For one day of the year, Halloween replaces the awkward stranger talk about the weather.
Now my wife and I have never been huge Halloween people. And this is primarily due to our door-knock barking-machine, better known as our dog. A night of him freaking out every time a trick or treater comes to the door is not fun for us. So we usually hide out or leave the house. But for some reason it goes deeper than that for me. I’m not sure why, but it’s been 12 years since I last dressed up for Halloween; since my friends and I each went as different Fletch characters (That’s me in the pretty bad aircraft repairman costume)
And this year, my Halloween experiences have led me to one conclusion:
I’m missing out.
Watch out Halloween, we’ll be back next year.
Song of the Day
To continue the post-punk theme this week I’ve chosen a non-halloween, yet still haunting song. This song is a cover of an Echo and the Bunnymen song, performed by Nouvelle Vague. The waif-like vocals and the devious tone make for an interesting combination. In honor of embracing Halloween, the song of the day is “The Killing Moon.”
For the original Echo and the Bunnymen version, click here.
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