Tuesday of this week was my older sister's birthday. I called her that night to wish her a happy birthday and she relayed a story to me that I will call the "Facebook Birthday Paradigm", which turns out to be an example of a re-definition of success.
Being an avid social networker, she was linked in early on her birthday and started seeing her Facebook 'friends' post birthday wishes. And it continued throughout the day. Birthday message after birthday message popped up on her phone Facebook app. Remarkably (or not so remarkably) they weren't all from her closest family and friends. She later wrote about it on her profile:
"You know, as much as I mock Facebook and my "addiction" to it, I have to say it is a wonderful thing....where else can you receive birthday wishes from your sister, your next door neighbor, your 4th grade boyfriend, people you drank Rolling Rocks with at your first job out of College, someone you worked a jukebox with during lunch in middle school, your sister-in-law's best friend, aunts, uncles, cousins, in-laws, close friends, far friends, high school friends, brothers of old boyfriends, teachers, and casual aquaintances? Pretty awesome. Pretty surreal. And basically, pretty cool. Thank you ALL for the birthday wishes yesterday! You made me smile, you made me remember, you made me laugh."
Nice thoughts, but nothing spectacular here. We all get those wishes and we have all given our wishes. I mean it only takes 5 seconds to write Happy Birthday, right?
Well, i would argue, and I think she would argue, that there is something spectacular here. It may only take 5 seconds to write happy birthday, but it takes zero seconds to ignore the birthday notification. It takes no time to go about our lives ignoring people. But that didn't happen here. People went out of their way. They left unsolicited notes to let her know they were thinking of her. Even if that was the first time they had in a year, 5 years, or 10 years. Why? Why do we do it?
We do it because they mean something to us. Even if it was because of a moment in time. A smile. A shared memory. She influenced their lives in some capacity and each of those people wanted to say thanks in a way.
What is a better definition of success? ignoring friends to work longer or to get a 4.0, or focusing on othes such that decades later they go out of their way to let you know you had an impact on their lives.
As weird and 'surreal' as it may be, the Facebook Birthday Paradigm is a true measure of success - your successful impact on other people's lives.
In honor of my sister's birthday and her musical infuence on me growing up, the song of the day is Sinead O'Connor's 'Troy'. Happy Birthday KBWM!!
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