File under Avoid the Machine
"Wow, that's terrific bass!"
A few months after college I was living on my own having had an averagely successful college career. I was in my own apartment, had a good job, and spare time and money (not much, but some). I was flipping channels late one night and came across the MegaMemory infomercials starring uber-salesman Kevin Trudeau. He was presenting a new system that would enhance your memory skills in everyday settings.
“Do you forget people’s names quickly?” he asked.
Yes, I do.
“Are you hindered in your work or studies by not remembering facts and tasks?”
I definitely am!
“Do you want to be more responsive and responsible?”
Well, of course I do! Who wouldn’t?!
The more he spoke, the more I thought he was talking only to me. I felt I forgot things all the time. If I only had a better memory I could have done better in school and earned a better GPA. I really felt that my lack of remembering things held me back, and made me a less confident person. The situations of failure he described I viewed as my own. It was like listening to a psychic who somehow knew my deepest secrets.
Then he talked about unlocking the photographic memory I already had in me. Wait, I didn’t need to learn anything?! I just needed to unlock it?! Using this power I already own will make me the thoughtful, smart, engaging person I always wanted to be? I could achieve my ideal state? I can do that I thought. It’s too easy! I need this memory system. In fact, how have I lived without it?
One phone call, 6-8 weeks, and $39.99 plus shipping and handling later the package arrived - 6 cassette tapes that were about to unlock my hidden potential. Soon I would be able to remember new acquaintances’ names, study for less time (despite having finished college two months previously), and remember my Aunts’ birthdays.
Of course I never made it through the program. I didn’t even make it through tape #3. I did the exercises on the first two tapes. I memorized the layout of the furniture in the living room. I used association to remember names. And then I gave up. The tapes sat on the shelf for years, until my desire to part with the tapes finally overcame my guilt for not becoming a memory master and I threw them out.
And I’m going to guess that you have been in this same situation before. Someone promised us an “easy” solution to a self-conscious problem (whether we actually knew it or not) and we failed in achieving that desired state. Whether it was clearing up acne, or getting out of debt, or losing weight, or being more productive, or getting ripped abs, or not dating losers, or living the life we always wanted, we are susceptible to the promises of the self-help machine with little chance for change or success. And this leads to guilt and shame and taxes our emotional effort.
More to follow...
Song of the Day
France annexed the South Pacific Islands of Tahiti on this day in 1880. In honor of French Polynesia and blatant colonialism the song of the day is Porno for Pyros' "Tahitian Moon".
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