The Self-Help Section

File under Avoid the Machine

A couple of months ago I detailed my own self-help, infomercial failings (here), and now I want to talk about one of the reasons why we are so susceptible to the self-help promises.

It’s because they’re everywhere. But it’s not only reserved to the infomercials. The self-help section of the library or book store rivals any other section in size. Recently I took a longer look at the self-help section in the book store and here is a list of the titles that jumped off the shelves to me (my comments in brackets):

Release Your Brilliance [The title appeals to your sense of ownership – you own brilliance, you just need to release it]
365 Ways to Reduce Stress
The Brain Training Revolution
The Feeling Good Handbook [this is not from an adult bookstore by the way]
Managing Your Mind
Living Life as a Thank You [Living life as a Your Welcome is a lot more fun]
Riches within your Reach
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
The Success Principles
Four Word Self-Help
Loving Him Without Losing You
The Procrastinator’s Guide to Getting Things Done
This is Not the Life I Ordered [Um, yeah it probably is…]
How to Talk to Anyone
How to Succeed With Women
The De-Stress Diva’s Guide to Life [I’m guessing if you relate yourself as a diva, your life is inherently stressful]
Showing up for Life
The Power of Positive Thinking
Unlimited Power
Make up, Don’t Break Up
Stop Spoiling that Man
It’s Called a Break-Up Because it’s Broken
Overcoming Passive-Aggression
Wired for Joy
Stop Overacting
Don’t be that Girl

As I sat in the bookstore and looked at all of these I had three thoughts that did not surprise me at all:
1. There is a self-help book for every, possible insecurity we could have. You can find a book to be more active, a book to be more relaxed, a book to help you end your relationship, a book to stay in a relationship, a book to be demanding without being a bitch, and a book to handle others who are passive aggressive, and on and on ad nauseum. Your self-help cure is available, you just need to go to the book store to find it, even if you didn’t know it was a problem to begin with.
2. There is a spectrum between completely ridiculous books and those which probably actually help people. This is my caveat that not all self-help is bad, dangerous, or doesn’t work. Many people have been helped.
3. There are way too many celebrity self-help books. Yes Shannon Doherty, I’m talking to you.

But there was one thought I was completely surprised by (although hindsight says I shouldn’t have been).

4. Books in the self-help section are primarily directed to women. The content, the titles, even the colors and fonts of the books were more appealing to women. I was surprised at how prominently this stood out.

Where were the men’s books? Are men afraid to show their weaknesses and that’s why those books aren’t popular? I decided to go to the business section to find the book from Good to Great, and then I saw my answer.

The business section is the man’s self-help section.

Although, not overt, they are primarily (and shamelessly) directed towards men. Take a look at these titles:
Think Better
Adaptive Leadership
Fierce Leadership
A Manager’s Guide to Project Management [as opposed to an employee’s guide?]
Thrive on Pressure
How Full is Your Bucket?
Success Made Simple
What’s Stopping Me from Getting Ahead [Chances are it’s you.]
The Millionaire Next Door
The Power of Focus
Get Motivated! [Without the exclamation point this book fails.]
Master Your Workday Now!
The Power of Nice
How to be Useful
Instant Productivity Toolkit [Step 1: put this book down and get back to work]
It’s not How Good You Are, It’s How Good You Want to Be
The 1 hour Plan for Growth
The 4 Hour Workweek
Getting Things Done
Think and Grow Rich
Ignore Everybody
Failing Forward
The Now Habit at Work
Leadership for Dummies [Really?!]

And in looking at these titles I had the previous same thoughts.

What’s the point? The point is that the infomercial and self-help industry is not going away. You will always be inundated with the media. They will sell you items you don’t need and you will feel guilty afterwards with no appreciable improvement in your state. Resulting in you being even more unhappy than you began because not only is there something wrong with you, but now you’re a failure too. I don’t say this to get you to not attempt to improve yourself, but rather to base your decisions on true need and not manufactured need. The source of change is with you and in your susceptibility to promises of the ideal state. You have to be capable of that change, and you have to truly want to change. Advertising and the self-help machine muddies the water and makes your perception of that unclear.

Song of the Day
I heard this song the other day and it was the first time in a while.  Reminds me of college and the Panther Pit on Sunday Reggae nights.  In honor of the Carribean Students' Association at Florida Tech, the song of the day is Dawn Penn's reggae version of Willie Cobb's blues song "You don't love me".